Sunday, April 22, 2012
Lil' Rocker
Funny, we found that the guitar is one of the best toys for Gavin. Not one of those little kid guitars (those are cool too), but my real, man-sized guitar. Yes, it's 3 times bigger than him, and he'd just as soon climb on it as opposed to strum it, but he has a blast, and that's what's important--that and the guitar is pretty cheap.
The Midnight Pisser, Who Pisses at Midnight
(This is one of those stories I've been meaning to write for a bit.)
I've got this odd habit where embarrassing experiences from my past just pop into my head. It's just random things where I remember that one class where I taught with my fly open, or the time I walked into the Starbucks women's bathroom, or, well, you get the picture. I'll find myself totally immersed in these painful recollections, memories that are still so embarrassing and vivid that I'll start swearing under my breath-- ironically creating more embarrassing experiences.
So a couple of months ago-- when Gavin was just a few months old and Kat's sister, Sage, had come to help us out-- I was awoken to Sage telling us that there was a man outside our door. I'm usually a calm person (paranoid but calm) but this time--maybe it was because I had just been woken-- I was freaked out. Kat gave me our junior-sized baseball bat and we all crept to the door ala Scooby-Doo style. We could hear the man outside, messing with the door handle, trying to get in. He was mumbling under his breath as he fumbled with the door. Suddenly there was a brief respite with the man's struggles. Then we heard a zip and the sound of water hitting the ground. The man was pissing on the door step.
I thought maybe the man was so cavalier that he figured he'd relieve himself before he broke into the house. Then I realized the man must be drop-dead drunk, and trying to get into what he believed was his house. Then I got angry. Maybe it was because my adrenaline was up, but isn't waking someone up and peeing on their doorstep a pretty big insult? I went to the side window and yelled out in my scariest tough guy voice "Mwo-yea-yo?" ("What are you doing?" in Korean). My problem is that through habit I still keep the polite markers on the end of my sentences-- even when a guy is pissing on my doorstep. The man came out of his drunken stupor and shambled off.
In the morning, there was a frozen piss puddle on the doorstep. I started to get angry, but then I considered the times I've embarrassed myself. The time I mistakenly ran a red light and honked at the people in front of me. The time I was waiting tables and dropped a coke in a baby carrier (there was no baby in there, thank God). Or the time I had too much to drink and vomitted in a radiator (I'm still sorry about that one Eric). I figured for all my cringes, I could suck it up, pour some hot water and salt on the piss puddle and go about my day. No need to get worked up about embarrassing experiences, be they mine or someone else's.
I've got this odd habit where embarrassing experiences from my past just pop into my head. It's just random things where I remember that one class where I taught with my fly open, or the time I walked into the Starbucks women's bathroom, or, well, you get the picture. I'll find myself totally immersed in these painful recollections, memories that are still so embarrassing and vivid that I'll start swearing under my breath-- ironically creating more embarrassing experiences.
So a couple of months ago-- when Gavin was just a few months old and Kat's sister, Sage, had come to help us out-- I was awoken to Sage telling us that there was a man outside our door. I'm usually a calm person (paranoid but calm) but this time--maybe it was because I had just been woken-- I was freaked out. Kat gave me our junior-sized baseball bat and we all crept to the door ala Scooby-Doo style. We could hear the man outside, messing with the door handle, trying to get in. He was mumbling under his breath as he fumbled with the door. Suddenly there was a brief respite with the man's struggles. Then we heard a zip and the sound of water hitting the ground. The man was pissing on the door step.
I thought maybe the man was so cavalier that he figured he'd relieve himself before he broke into the house. Then I realized the man must be drop-dead drunk, and trying to get into what he believed was his house. Then I got angry. Maybe it was because my adrenaline was up, but isn't waking someone up and peeing on their doorstep a pretty big insult? I went to the side window and yelled out in my scariest tough guy voice "Mwo-yea-yo?" ("What are you doing?" in Korean). My problem is that through habit I still keep the polite markers on the end of my sentences-- even when a guy is pissing on my doorstep. The man came out of his drunken stupor and shambled off.
In the morning, there was a frozen piss puddle on the doorstep. I started to get angry, but then I considered the times I've embarrassed myself. The time I mistakenly ran a red light and honked at the people in front of me. The time I was waiting tables and dropped a coke in a baby carrier (there was no baby in there, thank God). Or the time I had too much to drink and vomitted in a radiator (I'm still sorry about that one Eric). I figured for all my cringes, I could suck it up, pour some hot water and salt on the piss puddle and go about my day. No need to get worked up about embarrassing experiences, be they mine or someone else's.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
The Fine Print
This is unique macro shot. I was running around in the morning, trying to get some pics of insects and flowers and stuff. I was somewhat disappointed with the shots I got until I returned home and noticed this bagged newspaper with dew on it. Funny thing is I didn't really need to leave the front porch. The best shot was closest to home.
Too Happy
This is probably my favorite pic from the winter 2012 trip. I've never seen a pair of goofballs look so happy.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The #$%&ing Swear Jar!
The other day Kat and I were talking traits and habits that we'd like Gavin to exhibit. We'd like him to be polite, to say please and thank you, to put away his toys, and we don't want to have a kid that swears. I know you've seen that kid-- that kid that somewhere picked up a swear word, found that when he/she says it that it gets an emotional response out of adults, and then uses it every chance he/she gets. We figured that the best way for Gavin not to be that kid is to curtail our swearing now. Thus we brought out the swear jar.
I thought this would be easy. I live with two women from LA. When my wife gets wound up, she can come up with swears that I didn't know existed. Yes, I thought it'd be easy--but apparently I have tourette's. I didn't know I had this syndrome, but I seem to lack the skill to control my profane outbursts. I've put 70 %#@*ing dollars in swear jar to date. The girls are laughing at me now. I'll be okay, but then I'll burn myself, or drop some toast, or eat something spicy, and the profanities just roll out of me. Mom, Dad, I apologize; I've become that swearing child.
And my wife and my sister in-law are %&#!ing nazis about the swear jar. The'll catch me with a swear to which I'll reply, "%$#@ing *&%$!" thus upping the ante.
However, I am starting to catch on. I honestly don't have enough money in the bank to keep going like I am. Now I've started making up my own swears. The computer will crash and something like, "sasafras!" or "polish spice!" or "frying pants!" will come out of my mouth. It's not the most dignified thing, but it's a habit that I'm slowly starting to master. It's a lot of #$&%ing work, but one day, I will overcome!
I thought this would be easy. I live with two women from LA. When my wife gets wound up, she can come up with swears that I didn't know existed. Yes, I thought it'd be easy--but apparently I have tourette's. I didn't know I had this syndrome, but I seem to lack the skill to control my profane outbursts. I've put 70 %#@*ing dollars in swear jar to date. The girls are laughing at me now. I'll be okay, but then I'll burn myself, or drop some toast, or eat something spicy, and the profanities just roll out of me. Mom, Dad, I apologize; I've become that swearing child.
And my wife and my sister in-law are %&#!ing nazis about the swear jar. The'll catch me with a swear to which I'll reply, "%$#@ing *&%$!" thus upping the ante.
However, I am starting to catch on. I honestly don't have enough money in the bank to keep going like I am. Now I've started making up my own swears. The computer will crash and something like, "sasafras!" or "polish spice!" or "frying pants!" will come out of my mouth. It's not the most dignified thing, but it's a habit that I'm slowly starting to master. It's a lot of #$&%ing work, but one day, I will overcome!
Goofin Off
Here's Gavin and his best friend. It's a little scary how much he likes this puppet, but look at the fun they have.
Barbarian Raider
Here's Gavin, flexin in his shark towel. He's our little barbarian raider.
I bought this item (the shark towel), but man people have bought Gavin gifts that we use all the time. We have a musical stuffed elephant that we named after Misty, Gavin's aunt that bought him the gift. We named the dippie bin Nana Sage after his other aunt. We love the gifts, just be ware what you give us--we'll name it after you.
I bought this item (the shark towel), but man people have bought Gavin gifts that we use all the time. We have a musical stuffed elephant that we named after Misty, Gavin's aunt that bought him the gift. We named the dippie bin Nana Sage after his other aunt. We love the gifts, just be ware what you give us--we'll name it after you.
Fall Colors
It's a shame; I didn't get out to take as many fall pics as I usually do. Still, was a good autumn by any standards.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Kat's Parenting Skills
Kat's Parenting Skills a video by karmking1111 on Flickr.
A couple of months ago, Kat bought a glove duster, not to dust things around the house, but on the premise that it would make a great puppet. She glued two eyes on it, and viola! Gavin's best friend was born. We've pinned the dust puppet above Gavin's changing area so he has something to take his mind off of the fact that his parents are attacking his bum with wet naps and mild chemicals. As you can see, he is clearly enamored with the dust puppet, which Kat wields so well.
(You probably could have guessed it, but one of Kat's favorite shows, and mine, was the Muppet Show.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Behold, the Father!
You never planned this. One day you just find yourself Swiffering an apartment in Korea, with a small child strapped to you. It's at moments like these that the world stops and you have to ponder the randomness of life. Luckily, you will have a wife that will take a goofy picture of you to post on the internet. Randomness complete.
Gavin Speaks (or tries to)
Gavin Speaks (or tries to) a video by karmking1111 on Flickr.
But that's the first month, and by the second, rays of personality start to burst forth. Things like smiles and sounds. The first month, well that's a bit like a strange dream that you keep trying to divine meaning from. The second month, that's a bit more like a flying dream, one where you don't analyze it so much but just enjoy it for its beauty and pure experience.
However, there is one constant that keeps us grounded. Diapers, there will always be dirty diapers.
(When watching the video, see if you can discern Gavin's squeals from mine. Like father, like son.)
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Here's Gavin!
I feel I've been a neglectful daddy. Not to the kid, but about blogging about the kid. I should be telling the world about Gavin, but instead I'm actually tending to him: changing diapers, feeding him, consoling him, basically just trying to figure out who he is. Funny thing, I think Gavin feels the same about me. For the first week or two, whenever I picked him up, Gavin would give me this wide eyed, kind of shocked and scared look, as though he had never seen me before. Later, that look changed to one of mild puzzlement. I could almost see him thinking, "We've met before, haven't we?" Now, we're comfortable with each other. I know him as the joyful, screaming poop monster, and he knows me as the hairy, barren one of the two parents.
The whole parenting thing is an enigma. Kat and I read a lot of the baby books before he arrived and thought we had most things down; however, when the kid actually showed up, we found that we had not a clue what to do. Gavin would start crying and we'd speculate that maybe he was hungry, or wet, or too cold, or too hot, or bored, or overstimulated. This lead us to try a plethora of often contradictory soothing techniques that confused rather than comforted. We'd have him stripped down with the heater on, trying to feed and change him at the same time. If he stopped crying, it was usually in bewilderment of what we were doing.
Now we're all a bit better; us on reading his moods and he on, well, just growing up. It looks like this is a trend that will only just continue. Welcome the world Gavin!
The whole parenting thing is an enigma. Kat and I read a lot of the baby books before he arrived and thought we had most things down; however, when the kid actually showed up, we found that we had not a clue what to do. Gavin would start crying and we'd speculate that maybe he was hungry, or wet, or too cold, or too hot, or bored, or overstimulated. This lead us to try a plethora of often contradictory soothing techniques that confused rather than comforted. We'd have him stripped down with the heater on, trying to feed and change him at the same time. If he stopped crying, it was usually in bewilderment of what we were doing.
Now we're all a bit better; us on reading his moods and he on, well, just growing up. It looks like this is a trend that will only just continue. Welcome the world Gavin!
Left Hook
He's had enough of my clowning around. When he needs his diapey changed, he needs it changed now!
Badger's Wanted Picture
Here's a new addition to the family: Honey Badger. Yes, we know; it's a weird name for such a sweet kitty. We found her while taking and evening stroll. This cat saw us, pegged us for a couple of suckers, and ran up to us mewing. Kat, who true to her name cannot say no to a cat, immediately picked her up and took her inside. This kitten seemed way too nice and we figured she must have an owner. Therefore, we made up the pictured flyers. We actually did find the owner, but she was a young girl who traveled a lot and underestimated the amount of time and care that a kitten needs. She seemed relieved to find some other suckers, I mean owners, who could take the kitten off of her hands. So there, now Badger is part of the family.
By the way, if you're curious where we got the name from, go to Youtube, search under "Honey Badger" and watch the video with the highest view count. Warning, the video can be a little a crass, just like our cat.
By the way, if you're curious where we got the name from, go to Youtube, search under "Honey Badger" and watch the video with the highest view count. Warning, the video can be a little a crass, just like our cat.
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