Friday, August 25, 2006

What I Heard

Summer vacation is over for the Korean students. They had a whole month off, although many of them doubled up on their work at the academies. This means that a few select suckers, I mean teachers, had to double up on their work too. Hell for the students, hell for the teachers.

Now that we've gone back to the regular schedule, and I have free time, I'm at a loss of what to do. Practice my Korean, done. Read my book, done. Try and find an empty classroom to nap in, done. I guess I'll blog.

I haven't mentioned too much about the kids, how they act, their mannerism, their terrible English. That's not fair. In actuality their English skills are leaps and bounds above my Korean skills so I can't really point fingers.

For the most part the kids are great; however, there are those bad classes, those classes where you know the school administrators recruited for the most trying and annoying students from every corner of the globe. "This one looks promising, Kyong-Jun, Master of Konglish and Puller of Girls' Hair. His other specialties are writing on desks and farting in class. Put him in the class with the boy who cries for no reason at all." I have a class similar to this. I told Scott that I think I'd have better luck raising the dead than getting this class to utter one syllable of English. I'd feel like a failure as a teacher, but then I walk into the next class, do the exact same lesson plan and it goes off smashingly, so what gives?

The part that I hate is when a good kid tries really hard and doesn't progress as far as they should. I have one student who is really sweet and puts her heart and soul into studying, but at times her English is incomprehensible. When my students get ten stickers, stickers are doled out as rewards for games and perfect homework scores, they get to choose a prize from the prize box. This one student tried to tell me, "Teacher, I have ten stickers," but this is what I heard.

Student: Teacher, I have testicles.
Me: (with a very puzzled look on my face) What was that?
Student: I have testicles.
Me: (now with a concerned look on my face) What?
Student: I have testicles.
Me: What? (lowering my head towards the student to get a better listen)
Student: Testicles. I have testicles.
Me: What? (By this time I have my ear right next to the girl's mouth trying to figure out what she is saying)
Student: I have testicles.
Me: What? (Do I actually start to explain what testicles are to this girl and why she definitely does not have them?)

This issue was resolved, not through words but gestures, and get your minds out of the gutter. She showed me the ten stickers in her book. I would count this conversation as a bad English day for this particular girl, but then she earned ten stickers again and we had the exact same conversation again. I'm thinking we should really work on her pronunciation before she makes a trip to the states.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!

This last weekend found us at Daecheon Beach for Allison's birthday. We went there for the mud festival a few months before, and Big Al had such a wonderful time that we decided to journey back. This time there was considerably less mud, waygooks and rain. The days were spent in the sun, and then in an attempt to avoid the sun, and the nights were spent in restaurants and no-reh-bongs. All in all, it was a good time.

Somehow going to the no-reh-bong (singing room) has become a birthday ritual. My students informed me that a no-reh-bong is a karaoke room, while a no-ree-bong is a room where small children are taken care of. Really, there's not much difference. Below I have compiled the greatest hits list of the no-reh-bong:

What's Good To Sing With a Bunch Sauced Waygooks
-Paint It Black-- The Rolling Stones
-Barbie Girl--? (assuming you have a guy sing the guys part and a girl sing the girls part, although not necessary)
-Jeremy-- Pearl Jam
-Hurts so Good-- John Cougar Melencamp
-Calling in the Name Of-- Rage Against the Machine
-Day Dream Believer (or is it Sleepy Jean?)-- The Monkeys (or is it just David Jones?)
-Piano Man-- Billy Joel
-Born to be Wild-- Stepenwolf
-Basket Case-- Green Day

There are many more that I can't remember, although I sang them. Keep in mind that the no-reh-bong doesn't have the greatest selection of American songs. Once I find a no-reh-bong with Type O Negative, I'll never leave.

The funny thing is, there are songs that I'll be very excited to sing, but will belly flop when it actually come time to perform (it's the songs fault, not mine). One of these songs is Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer". Now this song seems to have all the right components: well-known lyrics, a loud multi-voice chorus, and the cool synthesizer part at the beginning where everyone can sing, "Woah-woah-woah, woah-woah-woah," as low as they can. However, tackling Bon Jovi is more difficult than I had initially thought. There's that part in the chorus when everyone's singing in a rather high pitch and then, dear god, it gets even higher. This is what cracks my vocal chords and ultimately sends me from the no-reh-bong without a voice. To make a long story short, you never know how difficult a song is to sing, until you try and sing it for the first time in front of a group of people. A note to the wise, approach the song "Roxanne" with extreme caution.

Special congrats must go out to Matt and Hyana. Matt officially proposed to Hyana on the beach and not in no-reh-bong with a song like I suggested. Still, she said yes.

Train Station


Train Station
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Where the trip starts.

Something's Wrong


Something's Wrong
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Keep goin Scott! Ya've almost made it to the water!

Exhausted


Exhausted
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
One sure way to avoid sharks.

Insert Cheesey Waygooks Here


Insert Cheesey Waygooks Here
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
I'm happy to get a good photo of two of the coolest and cheesiest waygooks I know.

Fireworks 2


Fireworks 2
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
People shot fireworks and I shot them, with my camera.

Punk-Ass


Punk-Ass
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Look what I found on the beach.

Waygook and Statue


Waygook and Statue
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Matt strikes the saguaro cactus pose while the statue in the back gives the international sign for touchdown.

Someone's Hungry


Someone's Hungry
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
It annoys the piss out of me that I'm alergic to shellfish, especially when people like Matt obviously dig them so much.

Givin it All I Got


Givin it All I Got
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Pic of yours truly. I can't remember what I was singing-- Muskrat Love, I believe.

Chics Who Rock 2


Chics Who Rock 2
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

What are You Singing Woman?


What are You Singing Woman?
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Alison seems to be into her song, but Scott's not quite sure of the words.

The Funky Canadians


The Funky Canadians
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Happy Birthday Al!

Party Like a Rock Star


Party Like a Rock Star
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Warren gettin down, but what is he pointing to?

Awwwww


Awwwww
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Warren and Ashley singing, "Rock Me Like a Hurricane"

Warren and the Void


Warren and the Void
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
We ended up in a place where there was no space or time. That's what soju will do for you.

Peaceful Warren and Spastic, Chaotic Scott


Firework War


Firework War
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
We set the camera on a tripod and then shot fireworks at it. It's funny what seems like a good idea at 6 in the morning.

First Class 2


First Class 2
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
There was standing room only on the train on the way back so we had to make do. We felt like hobos out of "The Grapes of Wrath". Out of work English teachers: "Ya got any verbs ya be needin conjugated or essay for proof-reading. We'll teach for food."

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Jungles of Youngsan and the Foreign Language I use to Survive

Horror of horrors, my ipod crashed two weeks ago. It's funny what constitutes a tragedy now days. It used to be, "Oh no, grandma caught distemper," or "Timmy fell down the well!" Now it's, "Dear God, my ipod just crashed!" I was grading papers listening to a song (Oasis, Roll With It- and no Oasis jokes) and the thing just went down. Now I've been suffering through two weeks of listening to traffic, random Korean conversations and coworkers. Oh how I suffer.

Because of the broken ipod, I journeyed in Youngsan; a magical, technological fairyland of gargantuan proportions. If you want anything, and I mean anything technology based, Youngsan is the place to get it. It consists of twelve monstrous buildings all crammed with small kiosks of people selling electronics, and in this mess is one Apple store. My mission was to find it. Armed with a smattering of Konglish I journey my way through this maze, shoving my ipod in the vendors' faces and shouting "Service-uh" or "Repair-uh." People would point me in the right direction and eventually I ended up in the subterranean Apple service department. I chalk that excursion up as a win for my side, although I'm supposed to pick the repaired ipod up on Friday. It'll be interesting to see what I get.

The foray into Youngsan was really a pride booster. It's always nice when I achieve a degree of self reliance in a foreign country; however, the journey also hammered home the need to study my Korean a bit more, especially when I take inventory of the phrases I've committed to memory that are comprehensible by the average Korean.

Korean Phrases I've Mastered:
Hello
Nice to meet you.
I want to eat.
I'm hungry.
How much does it cost.
It's too expensive. Give me a discount.
I don't like you.
I don't like him.
The weather is nice.
Give me two beers.
Where's the bathroom.
I have to throw up.
Stop it.
Do you want to die?
Really?
Is it spicy?
It's too spicy!
That girl is beautiful.
My name is Nathan.
I'm from the United States.
I like girls.
Please remove the seaweed.
Goodbye.

Basically I know how to bitch about stuff and hit on things. These phrases and assorted others float in and out of my head. On a trip a few weeks ago I bought a canned coffee product and told the saleslady "thank you" in Korean. The old man sitting next to the counter said, "Wow, you speak Korean very well," and he said it exactly like I had heard it on my Korean tapes. I freaked out, completely forgetting the standard response: "No, I don't speak it very well," and instead repeated my previous phrase, "thank you." At least he knows I can say "thank you" very well. With some hard work and extra practice some day I'll be able to have a small conversation with someone, but until then I'll have to be content with commenting on the weather and making death threats.

The Trash Monster


The Trash Monster
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Scary, but at least he seems friendly.

Subterranean Bike Path


Subterranean Bike Path
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
The underground subway of bike paths. By the way-- the Orris just got me a flickr pro account. Special thanks to the Orris. Click on the pic to see other photographic goodies by yours truly.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

What I Did During My Summer Vacation
by Nathan Price

Summer is upon us in the land of the morning calm. I thought that it was upon us before, but apparently I was mistaken. During June it was hot. July had rain. August is now hotter. Hotter than June and muggier than July. Anything more than a slow trot outside causes me to break out in a soggy sweat.

Summer vacation was last week as well, so we got a whole three days off for vacation. Allison, Scott and I decided to head to the mountains for some hiking and then to the beach for some swimming and laying around. There were may points of interest, the first being:

The Technologically Advanced and Supremely Superior Korean Toilet Seat
I had seen these things in different department stores and appliance retailers but this was my first time to actually experiment with this device. Some toilet seats here sell for five hundred dollars and contain such features as a bidet, seat warmer, blow drier and a music function. The first thing Scott and I did was tinker around with the thing, and no, no one was actually attempting to go to the bathroom. We couldn't get the bidet to function until Scott noticed there was a motion sensor on the toilet. He stuck his hand in front of it and a small plastic arm came out and shot Scott with toilet water on the arm and the chest. Some moments just make life worth living.

The Drunk Korean Men Laughing at us in Jinan
Jinan is the jumping off point to get to Maisan Provincial Park. This is a pretty remote part of Korea with few waygooks to account for. Because of this, Scott, Alison and I were the celebrities of the place. We impressed the locals with our ability to eat spicy food and massacre their language.

Maisan National Park
This park is home to Tapsa, a Buddhists shrine where tons of stones have been painstakingly placed on top of each other as to form large spires, some up to 15 meters in height. The amazing thing is no cement or bonding agent was used to keep the spires from crumbling. These are a testament to what one can do with supreme effort and too much time on their hands.

Daedunsan Provencial Park
This was my favorite place on the trip. It was just a hike up a mountain, but oh what a hike it was. This was the first day where the sun came out and it was scorching. I was a soggy mess as the pictures attest. Despite that, the hike was mostly in the shade and followed a tree lined river. Half way up Daedunsan is a suspension bridge that spans two mountain peaks and affords spectacular views. Later there is a steep staircase that brings you to the top of yet another peak. The warning sign is of special note as it tells one not to pass the elderly, children or drunks. I believe this is common knowledge. I've said before in previous posts that the lack of outdoor activities is what kills me here, so that probably why I dug on Daedunsan so much.

Busan Beach and Norebongs
This was my second trip to Busan. The first one was in the spring and gave rise to such famous and well-known pictures as the "Porn Star Mustache". This trip proved to be a photographic goldmine as well.
After having done some tough hiking we decide that just lounging on the beach sounded nice and that's exactly what we did. Later on we went to a bowling alley, snuck in some soju and knocked down some pins. Funny thing here, most bowling alleys don't serve beer. I know, in the states that's not really a bowling alley. Also, when someone gets a strike your supposed to clap for them, even if they are on a different lane. The Koreans are so polite. My first time out I bowled a respectable 145 and then it was downhill from there. Scott ended up the winner with some good score that I can't remember because it beat mine.
At the beach we met some Koreans and mingled around until newbie John decided the norebong (singing room) was a good way to impress the Korean girl he met. I was sceptical but once we got in there, as always happens, I turned into rock star and consequently scared off the Korean girls. At the end of the night Shim, a random Korean we picked up along the way, and I were drinking beer and screaming out "Piano Man". All in all it was a good way to spend a Monday.

Lotte World Amusement Park and the Mechanical Bull
Tuesday night had us wandering around Busan in search of entertainment and entertainment was found. First was a stop by the game booths that dole out stuffed animals and booze in reward for physical feats, like throwing darts at balloons or breaking bricks. I chose the manliest of them all, the dice game where one, um, throws dice.
Later on we found Lotte World Amusement Park which has a small assortment of nausea inducing rides. The most nauseating was when Scott drank a beer that someone had dropped a cigarette butt in, and he didn't even have to pay for that. However, the key attraction was the mechanical bull. I saw that and all my Wyoming roots came back to me. Granted I've never been on a bull, or even on an angry cow, but I gave it my all and stayed on the sucker for 53 seconds, 45 seconds over the 8 second mark.

The trip turned out better than I could have expected. It was great to get out and see some more of Korea and broaden my horizons. It's nice to know that this land is not just smog and concrete jungles but beautiful rivers and crazy mountains too. It's also nice to know that if I get sick of Seoul I can always relocate to Jinan and become the local tourist attraction.

PICT0674


PICT0674
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
And so the trip begins.

PICT0675


PICT0675
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Maisan Mountains. Means "horse ears" in Korean.

PICT0686


PICT0686
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Hopefully this cat doesn't have the taste for waygook.

PICT0689


PICT0689
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Pounce

PICT0698


PICT0698
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Tapsa

PICT0706


PICT0706
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Ass end of a flower, ass end of a bug.

PICT0711


PICT0711
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
You've been warned.

PICT0726


PICT0726
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
I can't help but feel intimidated by this drum.

PICT0730


PICT0730
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Ice Cream!!!

PICT0732


PICT0732
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Scott and Alison performing the Funky Canadian Cave Dance. This is a sacred dance that must be performed before any Canadian enters a cave.

PICT0743


PICT0743
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Rumor has it if a person drinks water from this well in thesacred cave that pregancy will result in the birth of a boy. I didn't drink any of the water.

PICT0777


PICT0777
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Mountains

PICT0781


PICT0781
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Big Bridge

PICT0797


PICT0797
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Sweaty and confused. Did I mention it was hot this day?

PICT0800


PICT0800
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
I have to use the latejc's comment: "I hate those old, weak, drunk children. They're always in the way!"

PICT0805


PICT0805
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Don't fall is good advice at all times but is especially true here.

PICT0824


PICT0824
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Alison demonstrates the happy penguin walk.

PICT0840


PICT0840
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Waterfall and guardrails

PICT0849


PICT0849
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Giddy up cowgirl!

PICT0841


PICT0841
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Sequence photos of Scott having way too much fun with water.

PICT0843


PICT0843
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Step 2

PICT0844


PICT0844
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
Horray for water!

PICT0855


PICT0855
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.
One of these people is a little more industrious than the other.

PICT0825


PICT0825
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

And now for a segment I call "Bugs of Korea"

PICT0815


PICT0815
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Big Yellow

PICT0865


PICT0865
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Korean fly.

Bug2


Bug2
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Close-up of bug.

PICT0879


PICT0879
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

The vastly superior and technologically advanced Korean super toilet.

PICT0880


PICT0880
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

I'm sure there's an open spot around here somewhere.

PICT0886


PICT0886
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Paparazzi photo of Scott and Alison