Another Korean marketting scheme I don't understand. Is the picture on the label supposed to make me want to drink this beer. At least they're honest.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
One of my duties as a foreign teacher is to grade the kids’ essays. They have to write about certain topics: My Wish, My Holiday, My Hobbies, etc. We get quite a few interesting responses. One girl wrote that her hobby was eating food and touching her face. Three thoughts came to mind when I read this: does she do both at the same time, maybe we should explain again what hobbies were, and maybe we should get her some help. Then again, I think I could list reading books and scratching myself as a hobby so maybe the girl isn’t so strange.
One kid wrote that his wish was to be smart but he couldn’t be smart because, “I stoobid (stupid).” On one hand I would argue with the kid and tell him to give himself more credit. On the other hand he did terribly misspell stupid. Is that irony or an oxymoron? (Yes, and I know I can’t get on anybody for misspelling.)
I feel that I can laugh at these people’s mistakes, if only because my own mistakes in Spanish have given many people in Mexico and Central America much amusement. Once I said I was able to fly when I was actually trying to reflect that birds had that ability. I asked a man why he bit my hand when I was trying to explain that I was stung on the hand by some insect. I heard a girl tell her host family that the next day she was going to mount a gentleman, mistaking the word horse for gentleman. I wonder if the family thought, “Well, at least it’s going to be a gentleman.” The scary thing is I wonder how much I’ve said in Spanish that was incomprehensible or insulting, and I never even realized it. I guess this is all part of learning. Wish me luck with my Korean.
One kid wrote that his wish was to be smart but he couldn’t be smart because, “I stoobid (stupid).” On one hand I would argue with the kid and tell him to give himself more credit. On the other hand he did terribly misspell stupid. Is that irony or an oxymoron? (Yes, and I know I can’t get on anybody for misspelling.)
I feel that I can laugh at these people’s mistakes, if only because my own mistakes in Spanish have given many people in Mexico and Central America much amusement. Once I said I was able to fly when I was actually trying to reflect that birds had that ability. I asked a man why he bit my hand when I was trying to explain that I was stung on the hand by some insect. I heard a girl tell her host family that the next day she was going to mount a gentleman, mistaking the word horse for gentleman. I wonder if the family thought, “Well, at least it’s going to be a gentleman.” The scary thing is I wonder how much I’ve said in Spanish that was incomprehensible or insulting, and I never even realized it. I guess this is all part of learning. Wish me luck with my Korean.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Oh- hum, Friday is here. On the last day of the work week I only teach one class, but all the teachers have to be here from 2:30 until 9:30. That gives me a lot of time to read essays, do some crosswords, type on the blog, and space out for hours. One of the teachers is leaving next week so we're having a soju and jello party tonight. That could get messy.
My cultural realization of the week is that things are not always as they seem, especially in foreign lands. Take barber shops for example. When I first arrived here I noticed that there seemed to be an obscene amount of barbers. It seems that every block has two three of those red and blue spinning poles outside certain buildings. Here's the deal, those spinning poles mean something different than they do in the states. They signify a massage parlor, an oriental massage parlor (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). If you went into one of those places expecting a haircut you'd end up being very surprised, "So, this is how they cut hair in Korea."
But that's not it, coffee shops are not coffee shops, at least not when they are downstairs. If they are upstairs they're legit, but if you go to a basement coffee shop you'll be offered to buy something more than coffee. On Saturday nights I like to go out for a haircut and some coffee. Kidding, I heard about all of this from the veteran teachers, and I would think that they were trying to pull one over on the new guy, but this seems to be comunal knowledge. I'm just glad they let me know instead of sending me out to pick up coffee.
My cultural realization of the week is that things are not always as they seem, especially in foreign lands. Take barber shops for example. When I first arrived here I noticed that there seemed to be an obscene amount of barbers. It seems that every block has two three of those red and blue spinning poles outside certain buildings. Here's the deal, those spinning poles mean something different than they do in the states. They signify a massage parlor, an oriental massage parlor (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). If you went into one of those places expecting a haircut you'd end up being very surprised, "So, this is how they cut hair in Korea."
But that's not it, coffee shops are not coffee shops, at least not when they are downstairs. If they are upstairs they're legit, but if you go to a basement coffee shop you'll be offered to buy something more than coffee. On Saturday nights I like to go out for a haircut and some coffee. Kidding, I heard about all of this from the veteran teachers, and I would think that they were trying to pull one over on the new guy, but this seems to be comunal knowledge. I'm just glad they let me know instead of sending me out to pick up coffee.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Happy Olympics Everybody! I’ve been watching those things pretty religiously, especially since I can cheer for more than country. My allegiances still lie with the U.S. however; I just opened a Korean bank account so now I think I’m officially ½ Korean. I also work with a bunch of Canadians and last week they made me an honorary Canadian in a ceremony that involved drinking a lot of beer so I can cheer for the crazy knanucks as well.
Other than watching the Torino games I’ve been finding other ways to keep me busy. I opened an account at the video store last week, and when I get tired of staring at the electronic box, I head out to the YMCA. Opening the bank account and obtaining a video membership were really quite easy. I just threw down my passport and alien registration card and Viola! I was set. Getting into the YMCA was a bit of a challenge. First I had no idea where to go and I almost walked into the women’s locker room. Did you know that there’s a universal sign that is easily comprehensible in an language when your about to walk into the wrong restroom? It’s usually involves a lot of loud yelling and a general flailing of arms. I finally found a person who spoke barely comprehensible English to show me the way to the weight room.
In Korea I’m a stud. You won’t see any Koreans throwing weight plate after weight plate on the bench press while their training partner goads them on by yelling, “Big pecs! C’mon, big pecs!” (This a distinctly American gym trait that I’m glad to have escaped from.) I can top off the weight machines here and ask for more. No, what the Koreans lack in actual lifting inclination, they make up for in energy. The aerobics room is a hypersonic flurry of activity. I find myself just gawking at the amount of sweat and movement that goes on in this room, however, the weight room isn’t much different. The music is god-awfully loud and, well, just god-awful. I’m not the biggest dance-techno music conisuer, but this sounds like chipmunks on crack. For a person who likes to lift heavy things and listen to punk or obnoxious death metal, I might be in the wrong place.
Then again I think the gym is a form of societal neurosis to begin with. Lift heavy stuff and run on machines that keep you in place for no financial or societal gain? Doesn’t make much sense, and I’ll admit that I’m one of the guiltiest of the guilty. I want to create a gym that has all the machines hooked up to generators so the gym powers itself. When the lights start to dim I could hop on the PA and yell at everyone to step it up. Alas, many of my friends have shot down what I believe is a perfectly legitimate idea (no stealing this one anybody). Maybe Korea could use an idea like this.
Other than watching the Torino games I’ve been finding other ways to keep me busy. I opened an account at the video store last week, and when I get tired of staring at the electronic box, I head out to the YMCA. Opening the bank account and obtaining a video membership were really quite easy. I just threw down my passport and alien registration card and Viola! I was set. Getting into the YMCA was a bit of a challenge. First I had no idea where to go and I almost walked into the women’s locker room. Did you know that there’s a universal sign that is easily comprehensible in an language when your about to walk into the wrong restroom? It’s usually involves a lot of loud yelling and a general flailing of arms. I finally found a person who spoke barely comprehensible English to show me the way to the weight room.
In Korea I’m a stud. You won’t see any Koreans throwing weight plate after weight plate on the bench press while their training partner goads them on by yelling, “Big pecs! C’mon, big pecs!” (This a distinctly American gym trait that I’m glad to have escaped from.) I can top off the weight machines here and ask for more. No, what the Koreans lack in actual lifting inclination, they make up for in energy. The aerobics room is a hypersonic flurry of activity. I find myself just gawking at the amount of sweat and movement that goes on in this room, however, the weight room isn’t much different. The music is god-awfully loud and, well, just god-awful. I’m not the biggest dance-techno music conisuer, but this sounds like chipmunks on crack. For a person who likes to lift heavy things and listen to punk or obnoxious death metal, I might be in the wrong place.
Then again I think the gym is a form of societal neurosis to begin with. Lift heavy stuff and run on machines that keep you in place for no financial or societal gain? Doesn’t make much sense, and I’ll admit that I’m one of the guiltiest of the guilty. I want to create a gym that has all the machines hooked up to generators so the gym powers itself. When the lights start to dim I could hop on the PA and yell at everyone to step it up. Alas, many of my friends have shot down what I believe is a perfectly legitimate idea (no stealing this one anybody). Maybe Korea could use an idea like this.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Right now I'm at war with my bank. They've recently denied me access to my checking account because they recieved a transaction from South Korea of all places. Gee I wonder who could have done that. The thing that peives me is I called a month ago, told them I would be traveling abroad, and asked them not to block my account when they receive withdrawls from foreign ATMs. I guess they thought I was joking.
This last weekend I walked around Gyeonbukgung, a Josean dynasty temple, and I learned a bit about Korean history. The poor Koreans. They would build up this major palace just in time for Japan to attack and destroy the thing. It reminds me of building snow forts in grade school and then the sixth graders would come over and knock the thing down. Mean Japanesse sixth graders.
I also went to the large mega mart on Saturday for groceries. It's great to see all the little oddities of this country, things that I'm sure are normal to all the Koreans, but border on the absurd by American standards such as the butchers at the grocery store that yell at the customers as they go by. You can definately tell where the meat department is at the Lotte Mart, just follow the noise. I only wonder what the butchers are yelling, "Hey fatty, I know you want some meat!" Really, I have to wonder how well this marketting campaign works, then again the Lotte Mart was packed.
This last weekend I walked around Gyeonbukgung, a Josean dynasty temple, and I learned a bit about Korean history. The poor Koreans. They would build up this major palace just in time for Japan to attack and destroy the thing. It reminds me of building snow forts in grade school and then the sixth graders would come over and knock the thing down. Mean Japanesse sixth graders.
I also went to the large mega mart on Saturday for groceries. It's great to see all the little oddities of this country, things that I'm sure are normal to all the Koreans, but border on the absurd by American standards such as the butchers at the grocery store that yell at the customers as they go by. You can definately tell where the meat department is at the Lotte Mart, just follow the noise. I only wonder what the butchers are yelling, "Hey fatty, I know you want some meat!" Really, I have to wonder how well this marketting campaign works, then again the Lotte Mart was packed.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Good news everybody! The wind started blowing here. It's taken the smog away. The sun is shining, the sky is blue.
Bad news too-- the wind is blowing. It is so butt-ass cold here that's it unbelievable. I had heard that it was cold here, but holy hell, today's a little rough. Being from Wyoming, I thought I could tough it out here, and WY is comparible, but here I have to walk everywhere and catch busses. Waiting for a bus today a gust hit me in the face and I said "Jesus!" quite loudly in disbelief. All the Koreans looked at me. I guess they are familiar with Jesus as well, but I have to wonder if they thought that I was swearing or just a very religious person.
To top things off, I couldn't figure out how to run the heating in my apartment and so spent my first two nights there huddled like an Amercan refugee under my covers. I now have a cold, however, I have figured out the heating system and it's really neat. The hot water pipes are in the floor so the floor heats up. No cold feet. Neat! Now I'll move on to the washing machine and see what mysteries that thing contains.
I made coffee the other day, another first. Believe it or not, tea is very popular here. I bought a french press, some overpriced ground coffee and went to town. I kind of feel like a person who has gone through a disabilitating accident, and now must learn to perform basic functions all over again. Every little step and minor accomplishment brings me great joy. Yesterday, I announced with glee to one of my other coworkers that I had sucessfully made coffee. She was not as impressed as I had hoped she would be.
I'm still attempting to get the internet at my apartment. That will be a major accomplishment that will probably call for a celebration. Until then you just have my dry comentary. Pics will come later.
Bad news too-- the wind is blowing. It is so butt-ass cold here that's it unbelievable. I had heard that it was cold here, but holy hell, today's a little rough. Being from Wyoming, I thought I could tough it out here, and WY is comparible, but here I have to walk everywhere and catch busses. Waiting for a bus today a gust hit me in the face and I said "Jesus!" quite loudly in disbelief. All the Koreans looked at me. I guess they are familiar with Jesus as well, but I have to wonder if they thought that I was swearing or just a very religious person.
To top things off, I couldn't figure out how to run the heating in my apartment and so spent my first two nights there huddled like an Amercan refugee under my covers. I now have a cold, however, I have figured out the heating system and it's really neat. The hot water pipes are in the floor so the floor heats up. No cold feet. Neat! Now I'll move on to the washing machine and see what mysteries that thing contains.
I made coffee the other day, another first. Believe it or not, tea is very popular here. I bought a french press, some overpriced ground coffee and went to town. I kind of feel like a person who has gone through a disabilitating accident, and now must learn to perform basic functions all over again. Every little step and minor accomplishment brings me great joy. Yesterday, I announced with glee to one of my other coworkers that I had sucessfully made coffee. She was not as impressed as I had hoped she would be.
I'm still attempting to get the internet at my apartment. That will be a major accomplishment that will probably call for a celebration. Until then you just have my dry comentary. Pics will come later.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Happy Korean New Year! I'm sure that everyone is busy celebrating the lunar new year back in the states. The whole city of Seoul has shut down for this holiday, so there's only 5 million people here instead of 10. I can't really tell the difference though.
I start teaching the little Korean bastards on Tuesday and I'm excited. I taught a little on Thursday after the precieding teacher was stabbed with a pencil in the hand and had to leave the room. That makes the Korean kids sound terrible, but really it was the other way around-- the teacher that I'm replacing was less than admirable in his teaching ability. The only reason I feel I can say that is I taught in the states and no one stabbed me; I was too quick.
My friend, Wendy has been showing me around this megatropolis and really, I've been having a blast. I heard there's four stages of culture shock, one being infatuation. Well, I'm definately there. Right now I'm in the passionate throughs (good name for a band: the passionate throughs) of a love affair with Seoul. I'm sure it'll wear off, but I'll enjoy the ride right now. I wrote that McDonalds and I might be seeing lots of each other and I'm going to correct that statement. I food here is great, and though I always make a specticle of myself at every restaurant I go to, (I'm getting every good at pointing at what other people have ordered and demanding the same thing) the food has always been delicious, although I saw a squid burger at a fast food joint the other day. I'm not yet culturally enamored enough to order that.
Wendy and I went the electronics mart the other day. To call this place a mart is a bit of an understatement. It consists of 12 department-store sized building that only sell electronics. She went camera shopping and me, being the follower that I am, had to buy a camera as well. If ya didn't know I lost my old camera (it wa exactly six moths old) in St. George when I was visiting the parents. That's why there hasn't been any pics of K yet. Once I figure out this new camera, there'll be lots to post.
I start teaching the little Korean bastards on Tuesday and I'm excited. I taught a little on Thursday after the precieding teacher was stabbed with a pencil in the hand and had to leave the room. That makes the Korean kids sound terrible, but really it was the other way around-- the teacher that I'm replacing was less than admirable in his teaching ability. The only reason I feel I can say that is I taught in the states and no one stabbed me; I was too quick.
My friend, Wendy has been showing me around this megatropolis and really, I've been having a blast. I heard there's four stages of culture shock, one being infatuation. Well, I'm definately there. Right now I'm in the passionate throughs (good name for a band: the passionate throughs) of a love affair with Seoul. I'm sure it'll wear off, but I'll enjoy the ride right now. I wrote that McDonalds and I might be seeing lots of each other and I'm going to correct that statement. I food here is great, and though I always make a specticle of myself at every restaurant I go to, (I'm getting every good at pointing at what other people have ordered and demanding the same thing) the food has always been delicious, although I saw a squid burger at a fast food joint the other day. I'm not yet culturally enamored enough to order that.
Wendy and I went the electronics mart the other day. To call this place a mart is a bit of an understatement. It consists of 12 department-store sized building that only sell electronics. She went camera shopping and me, being the follower that I am, had to buy a camera as well. If ya didn't know I lost my old camera (it wa exactly six moths old) in St. George when I was visiting the parents. That's why there hasn't been any pics of K yet. Once I figure out this new camera, there'll be lots to post.
Monday, January 23, 2006
I arrived in Korea yesterday and I just got back from forriging for food. While I thought I was going to get something exotic, I found the McDonalds and had the spicy chicken sandwhich for breakfast. That's as exotic as I get today. Sadly, I think Micky Ds and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other.
I had fun walking around the town though. Suji is the place that I'll call home for the next year. It's outside of Bundang, which is outside of Seoul, so calling this place a town really isn't appropriate. It's a big, loud, busy city but it has many of the aminities of home, such as the aforementioned McDonald's and the 7-11 across the street, though the seven has products I can't recognize. I think I bought a packet of cookies and some crackers but I can't be sure.
I'm going to meet with the school I'll be working for later on today.
Yesterday, there were some firsts. I saw Greg Ostertag (Jazz center) for the first time. I sat next to him and we shot the breeze. Actually I followed him in the SLC airport until I made sure it was him and then turn around and walked back to my gate. Oooh! excting! The most exciting event was in Japan when I saw a man attempt to walk on to the moving walkway that was moving in opposite direction. "Attempting" is the appropriate word here because he was oblivious to the action he was about to perform. He was looking up, not noticing where he was going, and I was going to warn him, but I was curious (and I'm not proud of this) what would actually happen when he stepped on to the thing. There was no eight seconds for this guy. The walkway bucked him off immediately. All he suffered was wounded pride, and I learned vicariously not to assume the correct walkway will always be on the left.
I had fun walking around the town though. Suji is the place that I'll call home for the next year. It's outside of Bundang, which is outside of Seoul, so calling this place a town really isn't appropriate. It's a big, loud, busy city but it has many of the aminities of home, such as the aforementioned McDonald's and the 7-11 across the street, though the seven has products I can't recognize. I think I bought a packet of cookies and some crackers but I can't be sure.
I'm going to meet with the school I'll be working for later on today.
Yesterday, there were some firsts. I saw Greg Ostertag (Jazz center) for the first time. I sat next to him and we shot the breeze. Actually I followed him in the SLC airport until I made sure it was him and then turn around and walked back to my gate. Oooh! excting! The most exciting event was in Japan when I saw a man attempt to walk on to the moving walkway that was moving in opposite direction. "Attempting" is the appropriate word here because he was oblivious to the action he was about to perform. He was looking up, not noticing where he was going, and I was going to warn him, but I was curious (and I'm not proud of this) what would actually happen when he stepped on to the thing. There was no eight seconds for this guy. The walkway bucked him off immediately. All he suffered was wounded pride, and I learned vicariously not to assume the correct walkway will always be on the left.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Secret Teaching Methodology
Arggggh! (Insert pirate voice) Ye be readin the lost and secret post of the wayward pirate, Karmaking: torturer of young Asian children and keeper of the blog, argggh! In this here post is a story of comic tragedy and ultimate loss, arggh! It all began on a stormy morn when I traveled to the kindergarten where I been a teachin'. T'was me last day at the hellhole with the rotten vermin and I t'was looking forward to a long repose. Captain Newbie of the Canadan crew t'was to be my replacment and he came to watch my attempts at educatin the little scaliwags.
Enough of that-- one can only do the pirate voice for so long at it's much easier to speak it than write it. The story goes like this: 1. for the last two months I was teaching at a kindergarten in the morning for extra money, 2. Some days were great others were absolute hell, 3. I got tired of it so I found a replacement.
For the most part the kids liked me and we got along well. Sometimes I found myself reading a story with a kid on my lap and all of us wearing funny hats. Honestly, years ago I never saw myself following this path in life. Still, not every kid liked me. There was one five year old who demonstrated a particular hatred towards me. The first thing he would do when I walked in the door was cock his fist back and try and hit me, and a five year old's fists are right at crotch level. I learned to block his violent attacks with my leg but still, I didn't appreciate the fact that I was the victim of this little Korean's misguided rage. I thought about complaining to the Korean teacher but then I realized I would be the thirty year old tattling on the five year old, "Teacher, he won't stop hitting me!" Instead I told this pint sized terror that I loved him when ever he attacked, which only provoked another attack. I think he is the Asian Antichrist.
Another thing that would happen is kids would spontaneously break out in tears. It happens with four year olds. Along with trying to get them to parrot my English I also tried to keep the kids from crying , hitting each other and crapping their pants. Honestly English was the last thing on some of their minds. On my last day I introduced my replacement, and one of the four year olds had a complete fit. I was teaching away when a new kid just lost it. The Korean teacher had left the room to get snacks and the this sensitive little guy, looked around the room, could not spy anyone that looked remotely like his mother, instead saw there were two goofy foreigners singing a devil song called Old MacDonald and he let it fly. His grief so great that he stood up in the middle of class and howled. Now I would have liked to console the kid, but I've found that in some obscure way I am usually the source of the crying child's grief, so the closer I come the worse it gets. Instead I did the only thing I could think of and snapped a few pictures of him. If you look at the pic (down below) the girl in pink held the little boy's hand until his despair had sufficiently passed. They're better at taking care of each other than I am.
But really, most the kids liked me. At times they would coming running to me to give me hugs. Keep in mind that once again these kids are right at crotch level. They would sprint full tilt at me and head butt me right in the nads. It's a little tough to shout out English to these kids after that happens. This is an action I can only hope they outgrow later in life.
Most of the time we would draw faces on the board, play with plastic animals and sing songs. It was exhausting work but at time it was good, even fun. Ah yes, it was a good time and the best part is that it's over. Argggh!
Arggggh! (Insert pirate voice) Ye be readin the lost and secret post of the wayward pirate, Karmaking: torturer of young Asian children and keeper of the blog, argggh! In this here post is a story of comic tragedy and ultimate loss, arggh! It all began on a stormy morn when I traveled to the kindergarten where I been a teachin'. T'was me last day at the hellhole with the rotten vermin and I t'was looking forward to a long repose. Captain Newbie of the Canadan crew t'was to be my replacment and he came to watch my attempts at educatin the little scaliwags.
Enough of that-- one can only do the pirate voice for so long at it's much easier to speak it than write it. The story goes like this: 1. for the last two months I was teaching at a kindergarten in the morning for extra money, 2. Some days were great others were absolute hell, 3. I got tired of it so I found a replacement.
For the most part the kids liked me and we got along well. Sometimes I found myself reading a story with a kid on my lap and all of us wearing funny hats. Honestly, years ago I never saw myself following this path in life. Still, not every kid liked me. There was one five year old who demonstrated a particular hatred towards me. The first thing he would do when I walked in the door was cock his fist back and try and hit me, and a five year old's fists are right at crotch level. I learned to block his violent attacks with my leg but still, I didn't appreciate the fact that I was the victim of this little Korean's misguided rage. I thought about complaining to the Korean teacher but then I realized I would be the thirty year old tattling on the five year old, "Teacher, he won't stop hitting me!" Instead I told this pint sized terror that I loved him when ever he attacked, which only provoked another attack. I think he is the Asian Antichrist.
Another thing that would happen is kids would spontaneously break out in tears. It happens with four year olds. Along with trying to get them to parrot my English I also tried to keep the kids from crying , hitting each other and crapping their pants. Honestly English was the last thing on some of their minds. On my last day I introduced my replacement, and one of the four year olds had a complete fit. I was teaching away when a new kid just lost it. The Korean teacher had left the room to get snacks and the this sensitive little guy, looked around the room, could not spy anyone that looked remotely like his mother, instead saw there were two goofy foreigners singing a devil song called Old MacDonald and he let it fly. His grief so great that he stood up in the middle of class and howled. Now I would have liked to console the kid, but I've found that in some obscure way I am usually the source of the crying child's grief, so the closer I come the worse it gets. Instead I did the only thing I could think of and snapped a few pictures of him. If you look at the pic (down below) the girl in pink held the little boy's hand until his despair had sufficiently passed. They're better at taking care of each other than I am.
But really, most the kids liked me. At times they would coming running to me to give me hugs. Keep in mind that once again these kids are right at crotch level. They would sprint full tilt at me and head butt me right in the nads. It's a little tough to shout out English to these kids after that happens. This is an action I can only hope they outgrow later in life.
Most of the time we would draw faces on the board, play with plastic animals and sing songs. It was exhausting work but at time it was good, even fun. Ah yes, it was a good time and the best part is that it's over. Argggh!
Sunday, January 08, 2006
It's taken awhile for me to post all the X-mas pics. For some reason when the weather gets cold and cloudy I tend to power down. Reason dictates that I'd do more stuff around the house, namely clean it and post pictures and things like that. Instead I sit my ass on the couch and let the TV lay claim to my motivation. I think I was a bear in another life. Hibernation comes easily to me.
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