2 Random Thoughts
1
I'm afraid that I might be exposed to English as a Second Language Learners (ESLers) for too long a period for too many days. I'm concerned that when I get back to the states my English language skills may actually have declined. My fear is that I will speak very loudly, slowly, enunciating every word and saying everything multiple times. Friends and family might get sick of me fast. I can also tell that other teachers are suffering from the same ESL overexposure as Kat called the garbage truck the "trash car" today.
2
I was contaminated with a pretty bad case of food poisoning on Saturday night, of which I am still suffering over. On Sunday I woke up with a terrible headache and my stomach screaming. I thought, "I don't remember drinking that much." I then ran to the bathroom, and well, you know the rest. Later I was lying in my bed thinking about how terrible things were and how I wished my bowels would stop shifting into low gear, when I decided to consider the alternatives: what are the pluses of food poisoning. Here's what I came up with.
--It's great for shedding unwanted pounds. Not eating anything for three days will definitely slim a person up. Plus dry heaves are great for toning and firming abdominal.
--If you want to bring yourself back to a healthy diet, food poisoning is the way to do it. I've been eating apples, bread, soup and vegetables (That's up from just bread). It's not a stimulating group of foods, but it seems to be the only thing I can keep down. I do not believe I will ever each chicken again.
--I've saved money because of my food poisoning. I haven't been spending money on food, let alone beer, or noreebongs, or fireworks, or rides on the mechanical bull, or whatever my money seems to go to.
Looking at it this way, food poisoning may be the best thing that ever happened to me. "Yup, I was in really bad shape before I got food poisoning; eating fatty foods, throwing away my money on women and wine, but it changed me. I'm a changed man now and better for it." And then I make another made dash for the bathroom.
Never mind, just random thoughts.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Blog Set
Korea has a love obsession with the "set". At your favorite fast food restaurant, when you order a meat flavored sandwich, and you want it with fries and a drink, you don't ask for the combo; you ask for the set. Recently, all the major grocery stores, convenience stores and occasional street vendors are selling sets galor. The idea behind the set is you get a menial discount when you buy more than you really need. I noticed Valentine's Day gift sets that would include the standard Valentine's Day fare: chocolate with more chocolate, wine with glasses and an opener; body oils with wine and chocolate (for an extra-messy evening); however, the gift set ideas got more and more obscure. I noted the AA Battery gift set that contained 64 AA Batteries and two samples of Noxema face wash. Energy and clean skin, what a way to say I love you. I then noticed the tuna fish gift set, 12 cans of tuna with two bottles of olive oil. This is not to be outdone by the Spam gift set, which is basically 12 aluminum vials of Spam. (What do you call the spam container by the way?) For the indecisive gift giver, there is the combo tuna/Spam set as well.
I thought that Korea had some rather obscure notions of gift giving on Valentine's Day until I realized that most of the sets were actually gifts for Seol-nal, the lunar new year's, which is this Monday. I still like the idea that it is perfectly acceptable to give a twelve pack of Spam for Valentine's Day.
Avalon Schools did see the Spam set as a perfect way to express their gratitude to their teachers. I appreciate the thought, but I'm afraid that the Spam set will not go to use here. I might eat one can for good measure, but the rest will go to a homeless shelter or to Scott and Allison for their housewarming. It's funny, my sister got an all expense paid vacation to Mexico from her work and I got the Spam gift set from mine. This is where my grandma's voice about starving people in Africa comes to mind to remind me of all my blessings.
Korea has a love obsession with the "set". At your favorite fast food restaurant, when you order a meat flavored sandwich, and you want it with fries and a drink, you don't ask for the combo; you ask for the set. Recently, all the major grocery stores, convenience stores and occasional street vendors are selling sets galor. The idea behind the set is you get a menial discount when you buy more than you really need. I noticed Valentine's Day gift sets that would include the standard Valentine's Day fare: chocolate with more chocolate, wine with glasses and an opener; body oils with wine and chocolate (for an extra-messy evening); however, the gift set ideas got more and more obscure. I noted the AA Battery gift set that contained 64 AA Batteries and two samples of Noxema face wash. Energy and clean skin, what a way to say I love you. I then noticed the tuna fish gift set, 12 cans of tuna with two bottles of olive oil. This is not to be outdone by the Spam gift set, which is basically 12 aluminum vials of Spam. (What do you call the spam container by the way?) For the indecisive gift giver, there is the combo tuna/Spam set as well.
I thought that Korea had some rather obscure notions of gift giving on Valentine's Day until I realized that most of the sets were actually gifts for Seol-nal, the lunar new year's, which is this Monday. I still like the idea that it is perfectly acceptable to give a twelve pack of Spam for Valentine's Day.
Avalon Schools did see the Spam set as a perfect way to express their gratitude to their teachers. I appreciate the thought, but I'm afraid that the Spam set will not go to use here. I might eat one can for good measure, but the rest will go to a homeless shelter or to Scott and Allison for their housewarming. It's funny, my sister got an all expense paid vacation to Mexico from her work and I got the Spam gift set from mine. This is where my grandma's voice about starving people in Africa comes to mind to remind me of all my blessings.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
The New Spam Model
Our twelve pack of spam even comes with this handsome carrying case. I believe I'll be selling it on Ebay.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Life is a Game of Easy Come and Easy Go
Last week we said goodbye to both long time teachers, Kerry and Nick. Now I would like to eulogize them in a manner befitting both, through an essay from the point of view of an ESL student.
Kerry and Nick both comes from the Canada.
And both likes to drinks the beer.
Kerry is called the Bear and Nick is called the Nick.
Kerry scream of the Pizza!
And Nick yell at the neighbor.
We has goes to the Norebong.
And sing the songs Cheese up Sleepy Jeans and Living on a Prarie.
Eating things be on niceness great!!!!
But now both are gone.
Sad is we and now the pain comes.
Nick is coming back to Korea in March (but to a different school) and Kerry is livin' it up in Australia. We miss ya kids. Below are some pics to entertain.
Last week we said goodbye to both long time teachers, Kerry and Nick. Now I would like to eulogize them in a manner befitting both, through an essay from the point of view of an ESL student.
Kerry and Nick both comes from the Canada.
And both likes to drinks the beer.
Kerry is called the Bear and Nick is called the Nick.
Kerry scream of the Pizza!
And Nick yell at the neighbor.
We has goes to the Norebong.
And sing the songs Cheese up Sleepy Jeans and Living on a Prarie.
Eating things be on niceness great!!!!
But now both are gone.
Sad is we and now the pain comes.
Nick is coming back to Korea in March (but to a different school) and Kerry is livin' it up in Australia. We miss ya kids. Below are some pics to entertain.
Can You Feel the Love Tonight?
Kerry lets out a girlish squeal as Nick treats her to a special session of face stuble. (Or is it the other way around.)
Look, I Found the Stone Preceptor
The Stone Preceptor must be dangerous. They built a fence around it to keep it in and then a roof to keep it dry.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Odelay Essay
We've recently received a fresh wave of essays at the old Avalon English mine. Grading essays gets very tedious and mind numbing, so it's nice when a kid writes an essay with some actual thought put into it or makes humorous mistakes. Neither has happened for awhile until today. Let me share with you:
Topic: What is your favorite food and why?
I likes oranges because it is sweet and I like the color. I also like ice cream but I cannot eat manies. I also like to eat crap. Crap is good but I cannot eat it often because it is expensive. I like many foods.
I'm pretty sure that this student meant to write crab rather than crap. The student who wrote this is studious, well mannered and relatively clean so I'm assuming that the reference to eating fecal matter is a mistake. Plus I have not noticed any expensive poop in Korea.
Topic: Summarize the unit on cosmetic surgery.
Maria Concepcion received cosmetic surgery and she had four children. She was also married. I cannot understand this. Why would she get plastic surgery if she was married? My mother does not care if she is ugly or not, although she was very pretty in university.
I believe I'll share this one on parent night.
(This one was stolen from one of Ken's students.)
Topic: Summarize the unit on Internet Cafes.
(The student was writting about Korea's Internet Cafes, a.k.a. PC Bangs)
People who loves games play for 6 hours at least. That's too much time. And they may have sickness or illness and then the pain will come.
This kid is like a prophet. I love that last line, "and then the pain will come." I think I'll steal it for the opening line of my screenplay. We need to get this kid to write more.
A part of me feels guilty for stealing excerpts from these kids' papers and waving them around so we can laugh at them; however, I feel that if we can laugh at our own mistakes we are blessed. If we can laugh at other peoples mistakes, so we don't have to make our own, we are divine.
We've recently received a fresh wave of essays at the old Avalon English mine. Grading essays gets very tedious and mind numbing, so it's nice when a kid writes an essay with some actual thought put into it or makes humorous mistakes. Neither has happened for awhile until today. Let me share with you:
Topic: What is your favorite food and why?
I likes oranges because it is sweet and I like the color. I also like ice cream but I cannot eat manies. I also like to eat crap. Crap is good but I cannot eat it often because it is expensive. I like many foods.
I'm pretty sure that this student meant to write crab rather than crap. The student who wrote this is studious, well mannered and relatively clean so I'm assuming that the reference to eating fecal matter is a mistake. Plus I have not noticed any expensive poop in Korea.
Topic: Summarize the unit on cosmetic surgery.
Maria Concepcion received cosmetic surgery and she had four children. She was also married. I cannot understand this. Why would she get plastic surgery if she was married? My mother does not care if she is ugly or not, although she was very pretty in university.
I believe I'll share this one on parent night.
(This one was stolen from one of Ken's students.)
Topic: Summarize the unit on Internet Cafes.
(The student was writting about Korea's Internet Cafes, a.k.a. PC Bangs)
People who loves games play for 6 hours at least. That's too much time. And they may have sickness or illness and then the pain will come.
This kid is like a prophet. I love that last line, "and then the pain will come." I think I'll steal it for the opening line of my screenplay. We need to get this kid to write more.
A part of me feels guilty for stealing excerpts from these kids' papers and waving them around so we can laugh at them; however, I feel that if we can laugh at our own mistakes we are blessed. If we can laugh at other peoples mistakes, so we don't have to make our own, we are divine.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Samurai Ken
Allison left her gumdo sword under my care until she returns in a few weeks to retrieve it. Don't worry Al, it's in good hands. The funny thing is, her name is engraved on the sword so anyone who sees it thinks that I chose an extremely feminine name for my sword. This is a picture of Ken showing us how things are done as he hears, not for the first time, "Put that thing away!"
Friday, January 26, 2007
Obey the Laws
This post has been a long time coming and it's theme is one that everyone can't help but notice when they first arrive in Korea: the Korean driving style. Traffic rules are more guidelines here and horns blare frequently in the ironically named, Land of the Morning Calm. After intensive study and observation, I believe that I actually understand Korean traffic rules. They're like English grammar rules, there's more exceptions to the rules than actual applications of the rules:
1. You are required to stop at all red lights.
Exceptions:
a) You are a bus driver.
b) You are late.
c) You are a late bus driver.
d) You just don't feel like stopping.
e) You are Korean
2. You should allow pedestrians the right of way.
Exceptions:
a) They look like fast nimble pedestrians.
3. You should park in designated parking areas.
Exceptions:
a) There are no designated parking areas within five feet of where you want to park.
4. You should not use your horn.
Exceptions:
a) You are running a red light and you want to notify the pedestrians in the intersection that you are running the red light.
b) The driver in front of you has foolishly stopped at a red light and you want them to move so you can run the red light.
c) You are an asshole.
5. You should not operate a vehicle on the sidewalk.
Exceptions:
a) You are on a scooter.
b) You are on a motorcycle.
c) You are in a car.
d) Traffic in the street is backed up, but the sidewalk is relatively clear.
6. You should use the pedestrine walk way when walking on the trails by the river and keep the bike path clear.
Exceptions:
a) You want to pretend you are riding a bicycle.
b) You want to pretend you are a bicycle.
c) You are Korean.
Because of these hazardous driving styles, I am constantly on guard when I'm walking around. When I cross the street, I generally let a Korean go first and then use them as a screen, ready to do the old pick and roll should anything disastrous occur. The craziest thing here is I witnessed ten times more accidents in The States than over here. My theory on this is in The States, when the light changes, we just go and then we're surprised when an absent-minded driver T-bones us. Over here there's a much more distinct possibility that a late bus driver is charging through a red light so everyone looks around before they dash out into the intersection.
Having said all of that, the first thing I'm going to do when I get back to the states is drive for a week straight.
Having said that, I hate cars.
This post has been a long time coming and it's theme is one that everyone can't help but notice when they first arrive in Korea: the Korean driving style. Traffic rules are more guidelines here and horns blare frequently in the ironically named, Land of the Morning Calm. After intensive study and observation, I believe that I actually understand Korean traffic rules. They're like English grammar rules, there's more exceptions to the rules than actual applications of the rules:
1. You are required to stop at all red lights.
Exceptions:
a) You are a bus driver.
b) You are late.
c) You are a late bus driver.
d) You just don't feel like stopping.
e) You are Korean
2. You should allow pedestrians the right of way.
Exceptions:
a) They look like fast nimble pedestrians.
3. You should park in designated parking areas.
Exceptions:
a) There are no designated parking areas within five feet of where you want to park.
4. You should not use your horn.
Exceptions:
a) You are running a red light and you want to notify the pedestrians in the intersection that you are running the red light.
b) The driver in front of you has foolishly stopped at a red light and you want them to move so you can run the red light.
c) You are an asshole.
5. You should not operate a vehicle on the sidewalk.
Exceptions:
a) You are on a scooter.
b) You are on a motorcycle.
c) You are in a car.
d) Traffic in the street is backed up, but the sidewalk is relatively clear.
6. You should use the pedestrine walk way when walking on the trails by the river and keep the bike path clear.
Exceptions:
a) You want to pretend you are riding a bicycle.
b) You want to pretend you are a bicycle.
c) You are Korean.
Because of these hazardous driving styles, I am constantly on guard when I'm walking around. When I cross the street, I generally let a Korean go first and then use them as a screen, ready to do the old pick and roll should anything disastrous occur. The craziest thing here is I witnessed ten times more accidents in The States than over here. My theory on this is in The States, when the light changes, we just go and then we're surprised when an absent-minded driver T-bones us. Over here there's a much more distinct possibility that a late bus driver is charging through a red light so everyone looks around before they dash out into the intersection.
Having said all of that, the first thing I'm going to do when I get back to the states is drive for a week straight.
Having said that, I hate cars.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Culture Shock Recovery
A few days ago I passed the one year mark of my sojourn from the States and my arrival to South Korea. I wasn't quite sure if I was going to make it this far but I was pretty sure I could. What are my plans for this next year? I'll be damned (that's an expression, not a plan). Every time I come up with a definitive plan, something changes. Listed are my previous plans that have fallen in chronological order:
1. Stay with Avalon school for an extra month and then visit the states in March before returning to Korea.
2. Teach public school in March. Come home for a month in February.
3. ?
4. Stay at Avalon school until May, come home for two months during the summer and return to Korea in August.
As to date, that last plan stands, but we'll see. I've always said that I never know what I'm going to do until I do it, so I don't have the best planning skills in the world. I would say that I'm a free spirit that can't be chained down, but I think it's more fair to say that I'm terribly indecisive and unbelievably unorganized. You say ta-may-to, I say tom-ah-to.
I have been a little more homesick as of late. It hasn't been the homesick when you're crying on the phone to mom about how much you hate kimchi and can't wait to come back home. It's just been a yearning to see friends and family that has slowly become stronger and stronger. Below is other things I miss from the states other than friends and family.
1. The cat. I know he probably goes under both friends and family but he will be recognized here as well.
2. American food. Please send turkey, tacos, mash potatoes and gravy.
3. Sunflower Seeds. Mom and dad, my wintertime Christmas stash is almost gone. Please send more.
4. Bowling. They have bowling here but the alleys don't serve beer and you have to cheer for everyone who gets a strike. I'm not cheering unless there's beer.
5. Snowboarding. I know there's snowboarding here, but I'm a Salt Lake snob, who turns up his nose at the prospect of renting gear. I know I'll eventually cave on this one.
6. Frisbee Golf. Frisbees are kind of foreign here, let alone golfing with one.
7. My Car. The first thing I'm going to do when I get home is drive to the middle nowhere, hop out and spin around in circles marveling at the wide open spaces and the lack of smog.
8. American Bars. It's kind of nice to go out and play pool or darts or foosball, rather than just drink and stare at my friends (no offense friends).
However, I already know the things I'll miss when I leave here:
1. The food. Restaurants here are great for the following reasons: the food is hot and spicy, service is prompt and there's no tipping. I'll be a terrible customer when I get back to the states and get all indignant when I have to leave more money than the bill says I do.
2. Public Transportation. I get pissed when I have to wait for longer than 10 minutes for a bus here.
3. The Ease of my Job. If you think teaching is tough in Korea, try and teach in the states.
4. The Security of this Land. Crime is rare and very infrequent. I can't think of another huge city where people leave their cars running when they dash into convenience stores and children still wander around at 12 at night.
5. The Language. It's not like I'm an expert at Korean language, in fact the opposite is true, but it's kind of nice to walk around ignorant to what people are saying around me.
6. Convenience. Despite the language barrier and the traffic, Korea is very convenient. Case in point, there's a twenty-four hour convenience store in my apartment building.
There's more to these list but it would take too much writing and thinking to get it all down and I'm feeling tired and lazy. I'll leave you with one last story that I hope illustrates a point. When I was getting my TESOL Certification, the TESOL instructor was describing culture shock to us. She said, "Some symptoms are listlessness, loneliness, apathy, depression, social anxiety and a feeling of isolation." My one classmate looked at our instructor and said, "Oh hell, I've had culture shock for the last six years here in America." Here's to getting over culture shock where ever you may be.
Because I can't post without leaving some pictures, below are some stolen pics taken awhile ago.
A few days ago I passed the one year mark of my sojourn from the States and my arrival to South Korea. I wasn't quite sure if I was going to make it this far but I was pretty sure I could. What are my plans for this next year? I'll be damned (that's an expression, not a plan). Every time I come up with a definitive plan, something changes. Listed are my previous plans that have fallen in chronological order:
1. Stay with Avalon school for an extra month and then visit the states in March before returning to Korea.
2. Teach public school in March. Come home for a month in February.
3. ?
4. Stay at Avalon school until May, come home for two months during the summer and return to Korea in August.
As to date, that last plan stands, but we'll see. I've always said that I never know what I'm going to do until I do it, so I don't have the best planning skills in the world. I would say that I'm a free spirit that can't be chained down, but I think it's more fair to say that I'm terribly indecisive and unbelievably unorganized. You say ta-may-to, I say tom-ah-to.
I have been a little more homesick as of late. It hasn't been the homesick when you're crying on the phone to mom about how much you hate kimchi and can't wait to come back home. It's just been a yearning to see friends and family that has slowly become stronger and stronger. Below is other things I miss from the states other than friends and family.
1. The cat. I know he probably goes under both friends and family but he will be recognized here as well.
2. American food. Please send turkey, tacos, mash potatoes and gravy.
3. Sunflower Seeds. Mom and dad, my wintertime Christmas stash is almost gone. Please send more.
4. Bowling. They have bowling here but the alleys don't serve beer and you have to cheer for everyone who gets a strike. I'm not cheering unless there's beer.
5. Snowboarding. I know there's snowboarding here, but I'm a Salt Lake snob, who turns up his nose at the prospect of renting gear. I know I'll eventually cave on this one.
6. Frisbee Golf. Frisbees are kind of foreign here, let alone golfing with one.
7. My Car. The first thing I'm going to do when I get home is drive to the middle nowhere, hop out and spin around in circles marveling at the wide open spaces and the lack of smog.
8. American Bars. It's kind of nice to go out and play pool or darts or foosball, rather than just drink and stare at my friends (no offense friends).
However, I already know the things I'll miss when I leave here:
1. The food. Restaurants here are great for the following reasons: the food is hot and spicy, service is prompt and there's no tipping. I'll be a terrible customer when I get back to the states and get all indignant when I have to leave more money than the bill says I do.
2. Public Transportation. I get pissed when I have to wait for longer than 10 minutes for a bus here.
3. The Ease of my Job. If you think teaching is tough in Korea, try and teach in the states.
4. The Security of this Land. Crime is rare and very infrequent. I can't think of another huge city where people leave their cars running when they dash into convenience stores and children still wander around at 12 at night.
5. The Language. It's not like I'm an expert at Korean language, in fact the opposite is true, but it's kind of nice to walk around ignorant to what people are saying around me.
6. Convenience. Despite the language barrier and the traffic, Korea is very convenient. Case in point, there's a twenty-four hour convenience store in my apartment building.
There's more to these list but it would take too much writing and thinking to get it all down and I'm feeling tired and lazy. I'll leave you with one last story that I hope illustrates a point. When I was getting my TESOL Certification, the TESOL instructor was describing culture shock to us. She said, "Some symptoms are listlessness, loneliness, apathy, depression, social anxiety and a feeling of isolation." My one classmate looked at our instructor and said, "Oh hell, I've had culture shock for the last six years here in America." Here's to getting over culture shock where ever you may be.
Because I can't post without leaving some pictures, below are some stolen pics taken awhile ago.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Rockin out with the Care Bear
Kerry is leaving soon to go to school in Australia. What's up with that? Giving up teaching small Asian children to party with the Ozzies? Anywhoo-the following pics are old ones taken with Scott and Al's camera. I've posted them in an attempt to relive the glory days.
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