Some Light Reading
Today, for your reading pleasure, I submit two pieces written by anonymous Korean nationals attempting to use the English language:
New Advertisement for Baskin Robbins
Our first piece was written by an anonymous young English student in Ken Teacher's class attempting to answer the question, What do you like to do on the Internet? This is the response:
Ice Cream is always in the we. Ice cream is very cold. because we very many eats we have a cold. Ice cream is good test. Ice Cream is good test at strawvery test. Ice cream is a lot of sheep.I see scircle and shit. they are very pretty. I like lice cream.
This is the best essay ever. Sure, the kid totally missed that whole Internet thing, but they wrote about what they loved. At first I thought the kid had written this essay in Korean, plugged it into one of those horrible translating programs you can find on the net, and then wrote the thing down. When you sit down and actually try and decipher the language though you can see that the kid actually tried. When they wrote "test" they were actually trying to say "taste", "Sheep" is actually supposed to be "shape", "scircle" is "circle and "shit" is... well you got me there. Maybe the kid ran out of things to say and wanted to swear. Just watch out for lice cream. That stuff sounds terrible.
Send to Premier Bush
I was waiting outside of the school a few weeks ago when I guy came up to me, handed me a hand written note and just walked off. The next night he approached me again and gave me a typed version of roughly the same note with a few minor changes. If anyone in the states wants to pass this along to the president or congress, I'm sure the dedicated and strange man would be thankful.
Take My Message to the White House
1.Don't give any money to the Japanese.
2.Even the Japanese has Money, don't give any Oil to the Japanese.
3. Turn the Japanese out of the American Continent and Australia Know, if not, pull the treegar or thrust with the dagger.
4. Give much money to the Chinese.
5. Give much Oil to the Chinese.
6. Send the Chinese in the American Continent and Australia Know.
So there you have it folks, Asian foreign policy summed up in easy to understand numerical format. This just shows that there's still a lot of bad blood between some of the Asian nations. I just hope this guy thought that he'd give his letter to some waygook and his job was done, though I could hit the guy up to buy some private English lessons off of me in drafting and writing manifestos and ransom notes.
Pics of nothing related follow.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Reaping the Rewards of Avalon
Avalon School just hit a 10,000 student enrollment. Woo-Hoo, we're the Wal-Mart of English academies! As a reward to their teachers, we each received two bottles of wine. Now I have Spam and wine, how high class am I?
Long live the King
So this is what I've devoted countless hours of countless nights doing, drinking with these yahoos and playing Settlers of Katan. For those of you who have never played the game and are now rolling your eyes, piss off! The game takes strategy and skill and lot of yelling at the other players. We set up a tournament where the first player to over fifty points won a night on the town, and through some strategizing and random dumb luck, I won. The king also had to down a few shots of soju. It's not my favor stuff to drink so Nathan 2.0 had to help me, much to his obvious pleasure.
Constitution of Katan
These are the rules for our next tournament game. Read them and weep, literally.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Don't Just Do Something, Get Out and Sit There
It's been awhile since I last posted. The computer officially crashed and then was repaired and restored, then I officially crashed. Well, not officially but sort of. I've been rather lazy as of late, not doing much of anything, just saving money for my impending return to the states in June. The warm weather as of late though has helped me shake the cobwebs off myself and question, why am I sitting on my ass when I can be running around staring at temples and stuff. This Sunday Scott, Al, Ken, Julie and I went to Namhansamseong fortress to walk around a wall and stare at temples,; a biathlon of sorts. We had a great time and got to remind myself why I came to Korea, to see some unique things and different way of life, and not just stare at Korean TV screens in my apartment. Pics follow.
It's been awhile since I last posted. The computer officially crashed and then was repaired and restored, then I officially crashed. Well, not officially but sort of. I've been rather lazy as of late, not doing much of anything, just saving money for my impending return to the states in June. The warm weather as of late though has helped me shake the cobwebs off myself and question, why am I sitting on my ass when I can be running around staring at temples and stuff. This Sunday Scott, Al, Ken, Julie and I went to Namhansamseong fortress to walk around a wall and stare at temples,; a biathlon of sorts. We had a great time and got to remind myself why I came to Korea, to see some unique things and different way of life, and not just stare at Korean TV screens in my apartment. Pics follow.
Ancient Fortress Wall
Admire the majesty of the ancient, yet newly renovated and replaced, Namhamsamseong fortress wall.
What a Second, You Can't Fool Me
I love how the nature conscious Buddhists put fake pine bows on this telephone\ power pole in order to help preserve the illusion of being in balance with nature. Too bad they couldn't cover up the power lines nor the transformer boxes. I give them an A for the attempt and a D for the actual appearance.
Royal Outhouse
I was explaining to Scott and Allison that I think this is the real temple and only the enlightened can see it for it what it really is. Furthermore, it is just shameful what the unenlightened do in this temple.
Breastworks
The sign says, "Breastwork are the parapets on the upper deck of a fortress," and this made us giggle uncontrollably.
Tidy Pile of Rocks
These rock piles are supposedly made by Buddhist monks without concrete or any adhesive of any kind, though Ken spotted some concrete up top for the pinnacle. Still, it's a monument to what a person can do if you have enough time on your hands.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)