Some Light Reading

Today, for your reading pleasure, I submit two pieces written by anonymous Korean nationals attempting to use the English language:

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Our first piece was written by an anonymous young English student in Ken Teacher's class attempting to answer the question, What do you like to do on the Internet? This is the response:

Ice Cream is always in the we. Ice cream is very cold. because we very many eats we have a cold. Ice cream is good test. Ice Cream is good test at strawvery test. Ice cream is a lot of sheep.I see scircle and shit. they are very pretty. I like lice cream.

This is the best essay ever. Sure, the kid totally missed that whole Internet thing, but they wrote about what they loved. At first I thought the kid had written this essay in Korean, plugged it into one of those horrible translating programs you can find on the net, and then wrote the thing down. When you sit down and actually try and decipher the language though you can see that the kid actually tried. When they wrote "test" they were actually trying to say "taste", "Sheep" is actually supposed to be "shape", "scircle" is "circle and "shit" is... well you got me there. Maybe the kid ran out of things to say and wanted to swear. Just watch out for lice cream. That stuff sounds terrible.

Send to Premier Bush
I was waiting outside of the school a few weeks ago when I guy came up to me, handed me a hand written note and just walked off. The next night he approached me again and gave me a typed version of roughly the same note with a few minor changes. If anyone in the states wants to pass this along to the president or congress, I'm sure the dedicated and strange man would be thankful.

Take My Message to the White House
1.Don't give any money to the Japanese.
2.Even the Japanese has Money, don't give any Oil to the Japanese.
3. Turn the Japanese out of the American Continent and Australia Know, if not, pull the treegar or thrust with the dagger.
4. Give much money to the Chinese.
5. Give much Oil to the Chinese.
6. Send the Chinese in the American Continent and Australia Know.

So there you have it folks, Asian foreign policy summed up in easy to understand numerical format. This just shows that there's still a lot of bad blood between some of the Asian nations. I just hope this guy thought that he'd give his letter to some waygook and his job was done, though I could hit the guy up to buy some private English lessons off of me in drafting and writing manifestos and ransom notes.

Pics of nothing related follow.