There's Discourse for Ya'

The other day, I was at a local watering-hole with some co-workers and my Korean tutor. We were talking about the word "discourse"; its derivation, and how it has become the fancy new term that academics like to use (It means the same as "talkin".) My Korean tutor, who speaks quite good English, looked a little confused and said, "What is discourse? Is that to stop having sex?" I was a little confused myself until I realized that he thought discourse might be the opposite of intercourse. That made my day. For one, I could just picture  someone saying, "Ahhhh, I've got a cramp! Discourse honey! Discourse!" And two, it's nice to see that my tutor makes some of the same mistakes in English as I make in Korean. We're all learning.

Fat and Die

Fat and Die
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Photo taken at my local gym. That's brutal honesty for you.

Waterdrop

Waterdrop
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Took this a little while ago, but it's one of my favs. Thought I'd share it.

The Love of Strangers

Sometimes I love this country. Yesterday, I walked into my local grocery store. Upon entering, one enthusiastic employee smiled and said, "Strawberry!" I believe he was trying to draw my attention to the strawberries they had on sale, but it sounded like he was calling me a pet name. Without thinking, I replied "Sugar Plum!" He smiled a confused smile (he had no idea what I said) and we both laughed. The randomness of this life never ceases to amaze me.

Ghosts Under the Bridge

Ghosts Under the Bridge
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

I recently purchased an iPod touch (4th gen). One thing I was super excited for was the camera. No longer do I need to lug around my oversize Canon. Actually I got a bit ahead of myself because the camera on the iPod sucks. I downloaded a processing app. that helps me to take funky pics like the one pictured here, but something tells me I probably won't be winning any awards with my fantastic iPod pics. (Other than the camera, I'm madly in love with the thing).

Little Arachnid

Little Arachnid
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

One of my best macros yet. Still, I have a lot to learn from some people at this group: http://www.flickr.com/groups/allaboutinsects/pool/

Christmas Nallie

Christmas Nallie
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Here's Nallie, a little depressed about the size of her present. Whatever the must-have Christmas gift is this year, this isn't it. That's okay. She has two of the best humans in the world. We feed her, love her, and give her way to much attention. Try putting that in a box.

(She's not really sad. She was actually batting this Christmas tree ornament all around the house and I caught her in pre-strike mode.)

Language Lessons

I've been studying Korean a lot as of late. A while ago I realized that I will never be fluent, yea, even proficient in Korean. That has taken the pressure off and now practicing and speaking Korean has just become fun. My tutor and I meet every Tuesday and Friday at the Krispy Kreme. (I heard these places went out of business in the states but are still going strong in Korea, go figure.) Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be heard speaking Korean in my broken, American accent. There will be a few people in the KK, pretending to read their newspapers but I know they are listening to me say the equivalent of: "Does this restaurant serve delicious soup?" or, "This is my friend Yuki. She is from Japan." Still, I think my odd bantering with my tutor about the current unit in our textbook must be enduring to the Koreans. I imagine that the other Krispy Kreme patrons are secretly rooting for me and my battle with their language, instead of wonder what the-hell-language it is that I'm trying to speak. That was until this last lesson.

This last lesson was about going to the doctor. I read the first line of the practice dialog where the doctor asks the patient what his symptoms are. The patient then responds that he has a stomach ache and that "diarrhea is coming out" (that's how it translates directly into English). At this I started to snicker, and my tutor asked what was the matter. I just said it was funny, how in English we are rarely so direct with descriptions of our symptoms, but Koreans tend to put all their cards on the table. Now sometimes my tutor gets a little wound up and boisterous. He saw nothing wrong with telling the doctor about this problem and educated me as to all the ways I say this in Korean. To a Krispy Kreme patron, I can only imagine what this mix of Korean and English sounded like. (Just to let you know, Koreans think all English sounds like "sha-la sha-la sha-la"):

My Tutor: sha-la sha-la sha-la "diarrhea coming out" sha-la sha-la sha-la "I have diarrhea" sha-la sha-la sha-la "I have bad dirrhea" sha-la sha-la sha-la sha-la sha-la sha-la "diarrhea" sha-la sha-la sha-la "I have a stomachache and bad diarrhea" sha-la sha-la sha-la "Bad diarrhea has come out since last night."

At the end of this rant I was aghast, but laughing pretty hard as well. My tutor was still confused as to why I was laughing and just moved on to the next line in the dialog. I wonder what the KK customers thought. To see this Korean guy sternly lecturing this foreigner about diarrhea; I wonder if they found anything odd about it. I wonder if they thought our topic of conversation was strange and humorous, or just gross. Maybe, on the inside, somebody was laughing as hard as I was at the absurdity of it all. But honestly, I think most people (more mature than I) just saw we were having a language lesson on stomach problems and went on their way in this big city of millions of people.

Once Upon a Time and Now
Once upon a time, in a small village named Suji, lived a young waygooken (me). This waygooken loved to ride his steed (bike) through a beautiful and exotic land (Korea). He loved to see the mountains, streams, temples, and how the country folk lived. However, one day, the young waygooken rode into the country-side to see a disturbing site. The Korean dwellings that reminded him so much of the dwellings in his native land (houses) were broken into and ransacked. Many dwellings, schools, and restaurants were vandalized with windows smashed, items strewn about, and walls torn down. The young waygooken was confused. Who could have created such destruction and chaos? Mercenaries? Zombies? Northern Barbarian Invaders? Time passed and the young waygooken left the village of Suji never to know the answer.

Then, years later, the waygooken returned on a new steed (I bought a new bike). He came back to reminisce and to learn what had transpired on the once bountiful hills of Suji. As the waygooken pedaled out to where there were once family dwellings and rice fields, he saw what foul beast had truly ransacked the countryside. Land Developers!!. The waygooken clenched his fists and cried out with emotion, but mostly pain, for as he gazed upon the newly constructed apartment frames, he hit a pothole and flew off his bike. Land Developers!!

(Really, nothing against land developers. I just road back to Suji to see what ever happened to all those trashed houses and restaurants I saw a few years ago. Funny thing about Korea, they don't just build one building at a time. They build whole cities at a time. Kind of interesting to watch, but I admit, my countryside and rice fields are missed. Archives here.)

Introducing Nallie

Introducing Nallie
Originally uploaded by karmking1111

This is Nallie, the new member of the family. She's a rescue kitten from the hard streets of Seoul.

About a month ago, Seoul got pummeled by a category one typhoon. Somehow, Nallie got caught up in this and ended up in a storm drain. Arnold, a kind hearted English teacher, rescued her and then posted on Craigslist that he had a cat that needed a home. Kat (true to her namesake) felt that we could help and arranged a get-together.

Now I told Kat that I wanted to wait a bit (I've been telling her that for the last 3 years). My mom and sister were coming to Korea and I didn't want a kitten to complicate things.

However, when Kat took one look at this poor, malnourished kitten, I new exactly what was going to happen. See, Kat is a sucker for emaciated runts that can't take care of themselves. She likes fixer-upers (she married me).

So that night, tucked in Kat's purse, we took the cat on the bus and brought her home. We went to vet to find out she many issues. None too serious, but still, a host of things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy: malnutrition, ear mites, skin fungus, and an infected airsack in her butt. That last thing was pretty gross. I mean the cat's butt is already my least favorite part of the cat, but especially so in Nallie's case. (Sorry Nallie. I probably shouldn't put your private medical history out there for everyone to see. She'll probably read this a few year in future and be mortified by what I shared.)

So, for the last few weeks, we've been cramming pills down her throat, shooting powder into her ears, and dosing her food with ill tasting medicine. To her credit, Nallie takes it all in stride. Never a hiss or a complaint. She's turning into quite the pretty lady and Kat and I are quite glad to have her in our lives.

BTW- We named her Nallie because the verb (nallieda) in Korean means to be blown away. We figured it fit.

3 Week English Interment Camp

Tomorrow is the last day of camp. The last day of this long, long, long English camp. How long you ask? Everyday for the last three weeks, Saturdays and Sundays included. When this camp was first explained to me,--how the teachers would have to stay on campus, on a remote part of Incheon, and teach everyday for three weeks-- I questioned who would ever sign up for such an ordeal. Once it was explained to me how much money those teachers would receive, my hand shot up in the air to volunteer before my brain actually realized what I was doing.

So for the last three weeks I have been doing nothing but teaching, and the students have been doing nothing but learning. We're all a little burnt out by now but that's to be expected. This is a dry campus. At first this camp idea sounded like a farce to drag people to rehab. A secluded spot, where one must remain sober for three weeks? C'mon. Still, this self imposed drying out has taken it's tole on the students more than the teachers. In blog writing class, one student wrote: "We should drink a little beer, if not a lot." I find this to be very poetic. We also caught a few students drinking beer in one of the classrooms the other night. OK, they snuck some beers; I understand that, but why did they drink it in the classrooms? I guess they're bigger nerds than I thought.

For me, the biggest hang up has been the food. I've had rice with fish, fish with rice, rice with rice; rice with fish and spam; rice with fish and fake spam (and you thought regular spam was bad); fish with spam, spam and spam. All of this has taken it's tole on my system and I'm beginning to think that drinking Drano might not be a bad idea.

Still, I'm getting in shape. I've been playing badminton and basketball every night with the students. Terrible thing is I get schooled by them every night as well. I take 'um to school during the day and they take me to school at night.

For the most part though, the camp has been great. The students are eager and they ask a lot of questions. In our debate class, one group was arguing about which superhero would win on a blind date (okay, it's not the most serious topic). One student tried to explain that Batman has a variety of vehicles so he could take his date wherever she wanted to go. The student wrote: "Batman can ride his girl whenever he wants." I was proud to have caught and corrected that mistake before it made it to the final performance.

Yes, camp has been a learning experience for everyone. It's been exciting, fun, fulfilling, and rewarding. On this all the teachers agree, almost as much as we agree that it sure will be nice to get the hell out of here.

Young Buddhists

Young Buddhists
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Come to me students and I will teach you the mystical ways of English!

The Onslaught

The Onslaught
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

You know when you show up to a place and 2 or 3 tour buses full of obnoxious camp kids show up at the same time and ruin your outing? That was us.

Bombs Away

Bombs Away
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

It's actually a cheezey poof in the picture. The students loved feeding the swarms of seagulls on the ferry.

Suffer the Little Children

Suffer the Little Children
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Slightly younger students from a different camp.

Need to Work on Their Pinata Skills

Need to Work on Their Pinata Skills
Originally uploaded by karmking1111

We had a salsa party for the students complete with pinata goodness. Pinatas are things that cross cultural barriers. Everybody likes bashing things with sticks.

Hitler Has to Desk Warm



I just found this video created by thewaygookeffect. I don't mean to make lite of the Nazi regime or World War II, but those of us who have worked Korean public school can relate to this perfectly.

Namsan Tower

Namsan Tower
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

On occasion, Korea can be really, really pretty.

Us from Above

Us from Above
Originally uploaded by karmking1111.

Me and Kat when viewed from above. She looks gorgeous while I can't believe how far my hair has retreated from the front lines.

Korean Drum Circle

Korean Drum Circle
Originally uploaded by karmking1111

Makes all those hippie gatherings in the park seem pretty tame.