Exiling the Exiled
Woo-Hoo! Only seventeen days until I return home. I've always hated it when others have done this to me; given me the departure countdown until they go back home, go on vacation, retire, etc. I hate it when I'm the one that's not leaving. That's why I can do it now. In Korea though it seems that foreigners start these countdowns a little prematurely: "Woo-hoo, only 256 days until I get to go home!" Then again some people never start counting the days, they just say screw it and jump ship.
So now comes time for the bitchy post, the post that inevitably has to be written: The things I won't miss when I leave Korea. I still dig most of Korea and I plan to return in a few months time; however, there are a few things that undeniably piss me off. Listed are a few:
1. The random traffic laws. It is a wonder that the Eagle and I are still alive. The average Korean driver would last about four minutes in the states before they were beaten by a mob of road ragers.
2. The smog.
3. The Korean Gym. My gym is inexpensive, for a reason. Many of the weights are not numbered or the numbers have worn off. You just have to pick up a weight and see if it's hefty enough. Also the treadmill shocks you if you're running with warm-up pants on. Furthermore the shock is delivered though your earphones. I'm not lying. It's not a disabilitating shock, but it did make me almost fall off the treadmill once. I can't help but feel that someone might be experimenting with me: "Steadily increase the speed on that thing and see how the subject responds. Now give him a small shock. Interesting, the subject appears confused and upset but he insists on running although he is not going anywhere. "
4. Sitting on the floor to eat. At some of the better restaurants this is required and my thirty-one year old bones have fused in such a way that sitting cross legged for more than thirty seconds gives me a stooped posture and aching knees.
5. Korean Hand Hygiene. I dislike washing my hands with the communal bar of soap and cold water and then drying them with toilet paper. This is just wrong.
6. Korean notions of heating and cooling. Turn on the heat and open the windows in the winter. Turn on the air conditioning and open the windows in the summer.
7. The lack of trash cans. On the streets and sidewalks there are very few trash cans, meaning that if I have to throw something away I must a) liter b) carry the piece of trash with me for the whole day until I find the one trash can in Seoul. With the new free trade agreement I think the U.S. should put its efforts into exporting garbage receptacles.
8. Single serving Korea. Often when I buy things here, they come in bag, which contains a box, which contains a bagged single serving of the food I wish to eat. That's a lot of garbage for one cookie. A lot of garbage and no place to put it because there aren't any trash cans.
9. Korean Life Guards. At all the major beaches, there are herds of Korean Beach Nazis, I mean guards. On no condition will they allow anyone to even get close to open water. On the one occasion I got close to a roped off area, I was instantly surrounded by jet skis and what appeared to be a coast guard boat. I swore they were going to net me and forcibly transplant me back to dry land.
10. OB, Hite, Cass. These are the major brands of Korean beer and they all taste the same. There are no minor Korean beer brands.
11. Grading essays.
Woo-Hoo! Only seventeen days until I return home. I've always hated it when others have done this to me; given me the departure countdown until they go back home, go on vacation, retire, etc. I hate it when I'm the one that's not leaving. That's why I can do it now. In Korea though it seems that foreigners start these countdowns a little prematurely: "Woo-hoo, only 256 days until I get to go home!" Then again some people never start counting the days, they just say screw it and jump ship.
So now comes time for the bitchy post, the post that inevitably has to be written: The things I won't miss when I leave Korea. I still dig most of Korea and I plan to return in a few months time; however, there are a few things that undeniably piss me off. Listed are a few:
1. The random traffic laws. It is a wonder that the Eagle and I are still alive. The average Korean driver would last about four minutes in the states before they were beaten by a mob of road ragers.
2. The smog.
3. The Korean Gym. My gym is inexpensive, for a reason. Many of the weights are not numbered or the numbers have worn off. You just have to pick up a weight and see if it's hefty enough. Also the treadmill shocks you if you're running with warm-up pants on. Furthermore the shock is delivered though your earphones. I'm not lying. It's not a disabilitating shock, but it did make me almost fall off the treadmill once. I can't help but feel that someone might be experimenting with me: "Steadily increase the speed on that thing and see how the subject responds. Now give him a small shock. Interesting, the subject appears confused and upset but he insists on running although he is not going anywhere. "
4. Sitting on the floor to eat. At some of the better restaurants this is required and my thirty-one year old bones have fused in such a way that sitting cross legged for more than thirty seconds gives me a stooped posture and aching knees.
5. Korean Hand Hygiene. I dislike washing my hands with the communal bar of soap and cold water and then drying them with toilet paper. This is just wrong.
6. Korean notions of heating and cooling. Turn on the heat and open the windows in the winter. Turn on the air conditioning and open the windows in the summer.
7. The lack of trash cans. On the streets and sidewalks there are very few trash cans, meaning that if I have to throw something away I must a) liter b) carry the piece of trash with me for the whole day until I find the one trash can in Seoul. With the new free trade agreement I think the U.S. should put its efforts into exporting garbage receptacles.
8. Single serving Korea. Often when I buy things here, they come in bag, which contains a box, which contains a bagged single serving of the food I wish to eat. That's a lot of garbage for one cookie. A lot of garbage and no place to put it because there aren't any trash cans.
9. Korean Life Guards. At all the major beaches, there are herds of Korean Beach Nazis, I mean guards. On no condition will they allow anyone to even get close to open water. On the one occasion I got close to a roped off area, I was instantly surrounded by jet skis and what appeared to be a coast guard boat. I swore they were going to net me and forcibly transplant me back to dry land.
10. OB, Hite, Cass. These are the major brands of Korean beer and they all taste the same. There are no minor Korean beer brands.
11. Grading essays.
12. Bad Elevator and Subway Etiquette. I may just be a country boy from Wyoming, but I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't get on a subway or an elevator and immediately stand in front of the door, but invariably, this is what happens. Here, when people get on transportation devices, whether they travel vertically and horizontally, they forget that other people will be getting on the same transport as them. Some people will get on the elevator and then stand right in front of the buttons, guarding them like it's their own personal elevator. I like to take the stairs.
13. Foreign Food Prices. Tortillas-$5 + Two Avacados-$8 + Small Block of Cheddar Cheese-$5 + Etc. = an expensive burrito.
There's the list. I'm sure there's more to put on it but who wants to listen to me bitch all day. And really, if on the top of my list is the lack of garbage cans, then everything is going relatively well. I still count my blessings. I'm sure if I was in this country's northern half the list would be a bit different and a lot longer.
Speaking of the northern half, pics from the DMZ and other assorted places are posted below. Enjoy.
There's the list. I'm sure there's more to put on it but who wants to listen to me bitch all day. And really, if on the top of my list is the lack of garbage cans, then everything is going relatively well. I still count my blessings. I'm sure if I was in this country's northern half the list would be a bit different and a lot longer.
Speaking of the northern half, pics from the DMZ and other assorted places are posted below. Enjoy.
1 comment:
Aye, aye, aye! Es un spam! (I know the language is not Spanish, but it sure isn't Korean. Anyone know what language this dillweed is spamming me in?)
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